I took my tables order tonight, and the rather large girl had ordered mozzarella sticks and had proceeded to tell me that she wanted them well done. Well done mozzarella sticks? Are. You. Fucking. Serious? They are fried delicious treats that contain cheese and if overdone, the cheese will seep out, creating a globby messy pile of cheesy shit on your plate. You don’t want that, you overweight sea rhinoceros. Mother of god, people just get stupider and stupider…next time I hear well done mozzarella sticks, I’m gonna ask them exactly how they’d like me to do that, and while thinking about it, I’ll bash their face into the table repeatedly….

Well fucking done mozzarella sticks….un-fucking-believable. Kirk out.

If you keep whining and complaining every time I riddle you full of holes or sneak up behind you and knife the shit out of you, it’s just gonna be that much more satisfying to do it over and over and over and OVER again :) so, keep whining…it’s music to my ears

Mucho love,

Brandon<3

I take some of the most AMAZING (and awful) shits when I come home from a long day at work. Why is this? And it’s never both awful and glorious, oh no, it’s either or and my anus decides to surprise me. Fuckin turd captain. I’m just delerious. I wonder if I’ll be any good in CoD tonight…..

Time will tell!